Monday, November 14, 2016

Common man & the demonetization side effects

        If R K Laxman was alive in this time period, I am sure he would have had a lot of inspirations to draw some great & amazing humor, sarcasm arising out of this high denomination notes ban in India. Well I am not good at drawing, so you will have to just imagine the scenes below :
If anyone interested please draw the cartoons for the below quotes depicting the scenes.

       For those of you who don't know, Indian Govt banned the HDN(high denomination notes - Rs 500 & Rs1000) as a measure to prevent the holding of black money & stop corruption & counterfeit notes on 8-11-2016.

























Scene  :  Village footpath
Beggar : Come Netaji, Please sit beside me, I may have some change to get you started, here is a crash course on begging. Listen carefully, always request the middle class...

Scene  : Common man's house
Housewife :  Dear husband, I have always loved you, I may have taken some notes from your wallet by mistake over several years, can you please convert it to change now, my PAN card is in my father's place, so are my other ID cards.

Scene : Bank manager office
Bank Manager : Who asked you to install 1000 ATM's in the city ?
Employee     : Sir, you did !!

Scene : ATM Withdrawal Que
Common man : Come Netaji, Did you bring your PAN card ?
Netaji     : I don't have one, I don't have bank account also, All your love & generous donations kept me running all these days.

Scene : Election Campaign rally
Common man : Sorry, I will vote for the candidate/party which will give me new 500/1000 notes, What should I do with these old notes ?

Scene : late night, common man house
Wife : Why are you late again today ?
husband : Darling , I swear I was in ATM Que, so were my other friends, you can check with Ramesh and Suresh.

Scene :Village footpath
Common man : I am sure, they wont come to load money into this ATM. After grand inauguration they have never come here to load the money, please stop waiting in Que here & search another ATM.

Scene : Bank
Employee : Manager sir, Whether we will get holiday or extra salary for the all extra work we have done these days for money exchange ?
Manager : No, however I am having an interesting reward idea, why not distribute all the counterfeit notes among yourselves as bonus ?

Scene :Village
People chatting : we never had problem of cash in our village, every year some or the other Neta was generously donating, we of course had the scarcity of power, water, toilets, schools etc. We never imagined the situation would become so worse, scarcity for cash also !!

Scene : Village panchayat
Apparently we are moving from paper-less economy to paper-more economy, I heard new notes would be printed faster to meet the growing needs of the people.

Scene : Common man house
Dad : We never had ID cards in our days, we all knew each other in our village.
Son : Oh, I knew I am going to be poor when I filled out the PAN card application, even before I started working in my first job.

Scene : Experts panel
Swach Bharat Abhiyan was good initiative, we thought it would fade away slowly, but PM shouldn't have handed over that broom to Income tax dept of India.

Scene    : Experts panel on national news.
Expert 1 : We are expecting a 0.05 percent less corruption with this move.
Expert 2 : The figures are highly exaggerated, we can achieve maximum of 0.04 percent less corruption, that too after certain conditions are imposed.
Expert 3  : This is not the way to go forward.
Expert 4   : People will find other ways to accumulate black money.
Expert 5  : This was the easiest option among many options available to prevent corruption & holding black money
Common man : Who the hell are these experts ?

Scene : Bank
Employee : Sir, I got info that one of our ATM's is being stolen, I am calling the police now.
Manager : Don't, please don't, if you see carefully, this reduced our work of loading cash for that machine.

Scene : Medical shop
Kid : Uncle, Can you give one Hajmola & Rs 999 change, My dad is very generous today, he gave me Rs 1000 note & told me to buy something only at the medical shops.

Scene : Restaurant, Bangalore - Shanti Sagar
Employee to customer: Welcome sir, you are the first customer today carrying debit card, We have executive Gold class lounge for you, same price menu as you were eating standing daily outside our hotel. You know we take of our customers like God.

Scene : ATM
Foreigner to his kid : No, They are not giving away Apple I Phones, those people are waiting in long Que for withdrawing their own money.

Scene : Common household
Maid : Madam, I want your or Sir's PAN number this time before you give me salary, I want to disclose my income & all sources to PM. Also I want to raise, I need to start paying my income tax.

Scene : Village
Common man : Welcome back Netaji after 5 yrs, have you come to withdraw the money from the ATM you inaugurated ? Actually no one has used the ATM, as there is no power to our village.

Scene : Village
Common man : Demonetization ??  Well, I have studied till 2nd standard & don't understand that word. No there is no impact on our village, we have not seen Rs 500 or Rs 1000 notes in our lives.

Scene : Common man house front door
LPG broker : Madam, Please take our LPG, many are in stock, you can give half the amount as you were used to give earlier, we will filled it completely this time. I will just wait here till you have the change.

Scene : Software engineer at the back of ATM Que
Thinking to himself : So this is how it feels like when I open a new window when my computer is hung up.

Scene : Temple
Priest : Sir, Lets buy a new hundi, one big hundi for high denomination currency & another small one for small change.

Scene : Bank
Customer : Actually I have a car full of cash to deposit in the bank, Can you do me a favor & keep the car also in your vault ? Govt may seize my car also which appears black....I meant my BMW is black color, purchased from white money itself. Please trust me.

Scene :  Temple
Uncommon man : God, I never asked you any favor in my life, I will drop Rs 1000 in your hundi, the white money I earned several years back, Can you please do a miracle to make the Rs 1000 crores black money I have at home transform to white money somehow ?


Images taken from :
http://www.india.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/rk-laxman-may-1967.jpg
http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/media/images/80528000/jpg/_80528034_1b228e6a-8559-40d7-88e9-5445f252625d.jpg

Friday, October 21, 2016

Side effects of being a geek


Well, your family, friends & near ones have to just bear with you...  here are some side effects of being Awesome geek.
       
             You tend to be polite, humble & complacent, although you may act with ego certain times, probably because the social situation dictates, you know that you are insignificant in this vast universe, just a tiny spec of dust on this pale blue dot & you may go out of existence anytime

You keep networking with people who are exactly similar to you.

One of your worst nightmares is loosing all your data, so you take back up of your backup.. Ufff it has to stop at some level.

You tend to imagine living with your imaginary girlfriend.

Your family keeps asking you to loose weight, you just throw all such suggestions out of window, & you are happy to be on the couch.

You tend to keep away from people who are in leadership roles, probably fear that they may control you.

You strive for perfection, making lives of other miserable sometimes, sometimes developing OCD's - Obsessive Compulsive disorder.

You tend to dislike discussing about facts & figures, you like to brainstorm on bigger ideas, solve bigger problems.

What new qualities have you developed by being a geek?  Do let me know in the comments section. 

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Nerd is the new trend

 

           Well, Nerd is the new Sexy, the topic of post being different just to keep the keen eyes of SEO away from my blog. With fast paced technology changes & jobs, the trend these days is shifting towards a greater percentage of work getting done on the computers, online or offline. Smartphones are like miniature computers invading our bedrooms & bathrooms as well. Actually many people just don't mind being plugged into a wall, away from the disturbances and outside real life events. The new algorithms, the new challenges in security, automation in various industries like manufacturing, monitor & control in various industries have led to more people move towards being nerdy - fashionably. A sitcom like Big Bang Theory is a hit worldwide not just in few countries. Many people like the show, although many may not admit that openly.

Here are the typical characteristics of being a nerd, well this is my opinion & limited to my experiences & my friends circle, my travel across couple of countries. But I guess you may relate to few of them.

You are a nerd if you watch mind fuck movies like Matrix, Inception, Primer, Donnie Darko, Triangle, Interstellar, Prestige, Momento etc. Nolan is one of your favorite directors, you wonder why there aren't enough such movies.

You keep an eye on hacking stuff, optimizing the existing stuff, like trying to improvise everything around you. Keen eye on incremental design changes.

You become excited & happy by associating the mundane everyday things with science /movie/comics concepts like when you see the number 42- probably you & your partner knows about that smile on your face. For those of you who don't know - 42 is ultimate answer to life universe & everything else- from the Hitchhikers guide to galaxy. Do read the book if you haven't already.

Your secretly wish something spectacular event like supernova, or reception of a message from outer space should happen in your lifetime, the events which are really unlikely to happen in next 100 yrs or so. In fact you have a secret bucket list of weird things to do like see auroras or visit strange phenomenon across the globe.

You are a nerd if you have watched movies like Matrix like for 5 times, trying to figure out each & every line. secretly feeling that you were the one or hoping that matrix should be true. There is theory in fact which suggests our lives are nothing more but an simulation. How depressing !

Religiously watched Big Bang Theory, hated Sheldon in public, but secretly admired him even a part of you wants to be like him, if not entirely annoying.

You don't have time to watch all the great movies or read popular books, so you just read the spoilers & move on.

You actually sat down with pencil & paper & drew the timelines of time travel movies.

You start thinking sideways or out of the box without grasping an interesting concept completely, imagining the most bizarre of the things related to it.

You have a sarcastic perspective towards things, not necessarily negative or depressing which you don't want to think sometimes.

You can quantify KLOC easily, rather than those rarely used units of measure like gallons or pounds.

You may like computer games, but you look for something more like learning or brain games etc or you use them to relax like others.

What in your opinion makes one nerdy ?

Well, there are side effects of being a geek, but that's a separate post - click here.


Image courtesy : https://thegoodbadme.wordpress.com/2012/10/03/nerd-letons-in-the-closet/

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Maggi : The two minute affair

             


As I found the last packet of Maggi in home, I was delighted inspite all the claims of Maggi containing lead & MSG- harmful substances, I couldn't resist the desire to give a proper good bye hug by savoring it plateful & paying full attention without watching TV. These were the thoughts that ran across my mind while enjoying the last plate of Maggi. :

     OK baby we will do it one more time, the world need not know, just for the old times sake we need to do it one last time, for the thrill in it.

        We ate Maggi when we were hungry in middle of night, in hostel when nothing was available & this was the only food which used to bring excitement & joy. In outings & trips where the conventional food doesn't get transported easily. We enjoyed Maggi when we were desperately hungry when there was nothing in stomach or after cooking experiment failed. This was the plan B in case your newly learnt dish turns out bad. This was backup plan for newly weds. There are jokes on net that 90 percent of women removed Maggi as their cooking skill after this ban happened.

        But on a serious note, we need to wake up to understand the ingredients in the foods we eat. This Maggi was clearly the case of nestle under reacting & Govt overreacting. But we should react appropriately to other food stuffs we consume. How many of us care to bother the ingredients mentioned on the food stuffs ? There are so many local & international companies making & selling products which are not quality checked. There are local delicacies which are consumed from many years or even generations. What about them  ? I suggest govt & the food committees do at-least top 100 food stuffs quality checks first, then the later can follow.

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