Sunday, April 25, 2010

It was the time for our last good bye !

As she disconnected from me
without telling a reason,
without a hint of what went wrong
Leaving me bewildered & wondering in agony

I was sure we could work things out
whatever they were, with minor adjustments
I could change myself completely for her
I could have gone extra miles for setting things right
As I always knew I was not the perfect one for her

But I knew deep within, that this was not the reason,
a reason she preferred not to reveal
But I know for sure there was some other reason
a reason beyond my awareness,
a reason she never wanted me to know

I knew without a doubt that she could never be unfaithful
just fighting hard to accept her destiny as mine.   
probably it was an obligation
a compromise included in her destiny
But I know she could never have never been unfaithful to me

As she went ahead
She turned to look at me one last time
With tears in her eyes, & a trembling smile
Telling the obvious truth
It was not her choice to depart
But the result of embracing her destiny
I wish I could her hug her for one last time
as she kissed goodbye from a distance apart

For the miles we walked together seemed infinitesimally small
there was still a long way ahead, in the wonderland of our dreams
in the beautiful & abundant life
in the life awaiting to make our dreams come true

My heart was sealed for her
I thought of none except her
The faith & trust which kept our love alive
I know, i can never love anyone that way
As our love was most pure & eternal

With her gone & with unwilling desire to move on
I just have one small wish left.
I just wish her pain reduces
Suppressing the wish, she could be mine again
to live the promises we made long before
which seem to now disappear in vain

I know you will not return baby
I know we can never be together again
But I will keep waiting for you now & for ever
You can find me at cross roads where we separated
I will be there until the end of time waiting for you to return
Coz that’s the only thing which makes sense
In this life which is meaningless without you.

I know you can never be mine
Still I refuse to accept this reality
For what’s left after this
Is a sense of void without even a silly hope of your return?

The last flower from you will wither in my book
though the memories of our time together will remain afresh in my heart
there is nothing other than memories to move on in life
rather feels to move backward to relive the moments we were together.
Just once again.

I feel so cold inside
Missing all the warmth of love & care within
For there are only memories to recall
The ones to cherish for the remaining lifetime

Sometime’s life is bit unfair
Depriving small aspirations too,
For all the love we shared , I think destiny was more than generous
But this is just not the way I wanted it to end

I wish she could be mine forever,
Hopefully I could run into her in next lifetime
Hope she recognizes me then
For I will the same as I am now
Her mad lover boy. 
Loving her more than anything else.
I will miss you deeply, deep within my hearts

Amidst all these thoughts, as I realize the obvious truth
I feel a sense a soothing, a relaxed breadth in eternal bliss
For I know for sure that our destiny is not written separately
within no time, we shall be together
high up in the sky, just like a binary star
I will be yours & you will be mine

Pyar ke rahon mein chalna tumne sikhaya....
Pyar ke haseen ehsaason ke sapne sajana tumne sikhaya....
Zindagi ke najane kis ajeeb mod pe, jab tum chal diye apne raaste, tanha hum reh gaye...
Tere intezaar mein hum khade hai unhe raahon mein, jahan hum judaa ho gaye.....


PS: the situation is lady love departing from his lover, owing to her some unknown obligation in her life, the concept in last stanza is based on thought somewhere i read in a book or saw in a movie that "when a person dies, they become a star" So i extended it to lovers i.e binary stars(close stars revolving around each other, bound together by gravity or love in this case :-) Ya somewhere had to bring the amateur astronomy touch & feel to this post as well :-))


Sharanu S Shirol said...

its hard how could you write these stuff ,without actually experiencing it,well written ... actually i am short of words to describe how well you have written .... simple words wonderful

Arzu said...

Ahem Ahem.Who is this lady luv?
Its been written with lots of sensitivity.

astrosunilnomy said...

@Sharanu, thanks for the comments, all you need is emotional heart & imagination to see the situation in depth, & the mood in which the thoughts flow smoothly as the ink in the pen..thus forming a stanza, actually there is no rhyme in this..but most english songs are random only & lack rhyme sort of..anyway it's just a novice attempt...

astrosunilnomy said...

@Arzu, thanks for the comment. lady luv here is imaginary i just imagined a situation where silence predominates the situation in which the girl has taken a decision owing to her some unknown majboori & the boy is devastated, but yet he does not say a word or become angry..these are the thoughts running through his restless mind.

Amari said...

Oh My God! This is such a beautiful poem. I never quite knew you had the poet in you! I always thought you were all of Astronomy and Science ;-) now I know better. Beautifully written. Anybody reading this will relate to the sweet nuances outlined in the poem. Great job Sunil (PS: I loved the pic that accompanies the post too, it kinda complements the poem. Keep writin'- Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Nice one. Hope that girl makes out your inner conscience, wherever she is in..Reel or real 
Anyone can do self analogy, but very few people will be able to frame, beading the words so nicely like you.

astrosunilnomy said...

@Amari, thanks a million, this encouragement keeps the ink flowing in the pen, otherwise it's hard to pursue a hobby after a day's work at office even if its not hectic, OOPS ! that pic is not related to post, that's the blog profile pic sort of which will remain thre only, it's a sort of advertisemnt for our club - BAS & intended to signify deep thought which goes into into writing the posts, lookin at the horizon of 3 coloured ocean water & sky, that's Kanyakumari. Well, a person who has seen, experienced life over a range of things like happiness, sorrow, pain, ecstasy etc etc can write deeply about life & living, this is my attempt a blah blah about concepts which make our lives wonderful & full of emotions.

@ anonymous or Guru, Guruprasad...thanks a lot, ya english offers lot of words , a good vocabulary is what you need to pen down your thoguhts, but how clearly you imagine a situation is all which matters, this is just a collection of abstract & weird thoughs which happens to pass over your mind in a matter of few seconds, she is an imaginery girl, who is good in thoughts world only !

Subhash Kaiwar said...

I loved the depth and the intensity of the guy who loves the girl so truly, it made me go back in memories and got lot of pictures alive and more importantly the smile all along. One line to summarize my comments is 'True love is not about fulfilling it, it's all about loving all the time'. Kudos Sunil, will be looking forward for more..:-)

astrosunilnomy said...

@Subhash, hey thanks buddy, i was not anticipating such an overwhelming response for a painful & horribly sad post written like in half an hour, & good to know you could associate it with some of your memories. Well it's always good to recall a bit forgotten memories only if they are good ones, i am not sure, i got you quite right on concept you implied by fulfilling & loving..both apparently seemed same to me, loving all the way till end no matter what, is fulfilling true love isn't it? Well, In this kalyug, & i remember one blogger encapsulating 'love' within boundaries of just two concepts 'need' & 'convenience' only, this depth & intensity of true love concept itself makes it philosophical & poetic isn't it ? Well lets take a break & relax in comfort of true love as after a while we have to return to our real world.

Sharanya Ravi said...

yo sunil bhaiya ji!! kuch chupa rahe ho kya aap hamse??!!
but awesome poetry.. personally, I don't think it is as amateurish as you told me!!

follow it up and soon you'll be a full fledged professional!!


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